15 Hilarious Things Spoken In Their Sleep
by angryHarlequin
Summary: This is a set of One Piece Drabbles inspired on the tumblr post about 15 different things people have said in their sleep. OK so I edited a fix a few of the grammatical errors. lolol
1. You Owe Me 20 Dollars

It was a hot and sunny afternoon on the Thousand Sunny. Zoro was napping, as usual, against the mast. Sanji was busy singing his confession to both Nami and Robin. Usopp, Luffy, and Chopper were busy fishing and joking amongst themselves. Brook was tuning his violin and Franky was elsewhere on the ship, doing...shipwright things you were guessing. All that left was you, you were currently sunbathing on the plush grassy lawn on Sunny. You were also situated near Zoro, his soft snoring would constantly bring your attention back into the present. One phrase caused you to lift the sunglasses off your eyes and raise an eyebrow at the swordsman.

"Fuck you Batman, you owe me twenty dollars."

At first you didn't know how to react, you just simply stared at the man until a snort escaped your mouth. Zoro opened one eye lazily at you. You just continued to stare at him with an expression that was a mix of confusion and suppressing laughter. Zoro opened his mouth to ask you exactly what the hell you thought was so funny, but your laughter cut him off.


	2. A Slow Thumbs Up

You were lounging in Ace's room while he slept. You were currently reading a book about the animals that inhabit some of the islands in the Grand Line. Sure you were currently in the New World right now, but you still didn't see all the islands on the Grand Line and you were curious about all the cute, albeit sometimes very deadly, animals that you have missed out seeing. Hearing fabrics shuffle behind you, you found a good place to stop and turned in the chair to look at Ace. Who was now sitting in the bed, you raised an eyebrow and was about to question the actions of your boyfriend. But your voice stopped in it's tracks as you watched Ace raise his left arm slowly and proceed to give you a thumbs up. Your eyes glanced between his gesture and Ace's sleeping face. You rolled your eyes and went back to your book, letting out a few giggles. You heard fabric shuffling again, and then the sound of one of Ace's loud snores.


	3. Where's the Money!

You didn't think everyone you knew talked in their sleep. You briefly wondered if you also spoke in your sleep. Currently you were reading some of Robin's books in the same room Nami was taking a brief nap in. When she walked in, she muttered something about needing to get away from the boys. You nodded in understanding, it was the same reason that you were hiding away in the Girls' room as well. This book you were reading was about the different types of fish in the Four Blues. It had been 30 minutes since Nami walked in and began to nap. Sitting up from the bed, she looked directly at you. You looked back at your friend,  
"Where the fuck is the money?" Nami asked, her blank face staring right at your confused one. You decided not to say anything in case she was going to say anything else.

And you were right.

"Ahh right, it's in the bank." She muttered and went back to laying down.


	4. I'm Thirsty!

You were sitting in the Heart Pirate's galley. It was late in the night and you weren't sleepy at all. So you decided to hang out in the galley and do some light reading, accompanied by a hot cup of tea. You found yourself reading a lot lately. Hearing someone enter the galley you didn't bother to look up, late night snacks were common with this crew, however a yell made your head snap up regardless.

"I'm so goddamn thirsty!"

You quickly realized it was Penguin who entered the kitchen. You stood up and made your way to the back of the galley, where the kitchen was situated.

"You alright Pengu?" You asked, your friend's figure turned towards you a water bottle in his hand. His eyes were closed. '_Sleepwalking..._' You thought with a sigh.

"I'm thirsty and wanted some water." He explained and gestured to the water bottle in his hand, "but all we have is this motherfucking can of soup!" He yelled and stomped out of the kitchen, you hid your smile with the back of your hand.


	5. My Burning Ember

Being Vice-commander of the 2nd division of the Whitebeard pirates had its benefits. Especially when you were also the lover of the Division Commander. Ace had already been sleeping for twenty minutes before you joined him. You adjusted yourself next to him and pushed away some of his appendages to make yourself some more room.

"Bed hog." You muttered under your breath before snuggling in next to the commander. He turned around in his sleep and snuggled up next to you, a smile spread itself on your face.

"You're the burning ember in the jungles of my night." He whispered softly, you knew he was still asleep. You kissed his cheek, and lightly slapped his bare chest,

"you dweeb." You muttered against him before falling asleep as well, a huge grin on your face.


	6. Can't Fry Eggs Right

You insisted that you helped Sanji with cooking hamburgers and eggs for the rest of the Strawhats. You had nothing to do, and you were bored out of your mind. After some nagging and begging, Sanji reluctantly agreed to allow you to help.

"Finally." You sighed. Sanji told you to fry eggs while he constructed the burgers. You looked at the pan in front of you, you briefly wondered if you had put enough oil into the pan before attempting to fry that egg. Sanji looked over at you, his one visible eye widened,

"Dear! You didn't put enough oil in the pan!" He said, observing the egg that had now been burnt onto the pan.

"Oh fuck me..." You whispered, Sanji looked over at you an eyebrow raised in amusement. "Not literally." You said, a smile on your face as Sanji pouted. You scraped the blackened egg off the pan, hell you were still gonna eat the thing, you didn't want to waste any food. Much to Sanji's protests.

Lunch was successful, according to Luffy anyway, and no one else really complained either. So you took it as a victory.

After finishing up lunch you stayed back with Sanji, telling him to take a break while you cleaned up. It was the least you could do after burning that one egg. Sanji agreed, as he rested his head in his arms on the table.

"Fucking idiot can't even fry eggs right." He muttered, a small smirk on his face. You turned around to the love cook with a shocked expression. You felt so vulnerable.


	7. Wasting Science

Captain Trafalgar Law had fallen asleep at his desk, reading or rereading one of those many anatomy books that he owns. You had walked into her quarters, carrying a tray of food meant for the sleep deprived captain. Sighing, you gently placed the food tray on the desk and went over to his bed silently. You grabbed the blanket off his bed and went over to his slumped over form at his desk. As you gently placed the blanket over him, his hand shot out towards you and grabbed your wrist. Your breath hitched in your throat as your eyes looked up to his. He was still asleep surprisingly.

"Stop wasting the science." He whispered, his grip on your hand slipping, "keep it safe." He added his hand went back to the desk. You smiled and took the tray, and the now cold cup of coffee that also inhabited his desk, and left as silently as you came in.


	8. Barking!

Nami and Robin were woken up by the sound of barking. The two women looked at each other before looking at the third in the room. Wondering why on earth the barking was waking her up.

"What's going on?" You groggily asked, as Nami slapped your shoulder.

"There's a dog on the ship," Nami whispered.

"What?" You muttered, looking at your orange haired friend.

"Yeah there was barking! It woke me and Robin up," Nami said gestured towards the archaeologist. Who was hiding her smile behind her hand.

"What's so funny Robin?" You asked, still heavily sleepy from being woken up.

"You were barking in your sleep," she said as small giggles began escaping her mouth. You and Nami looked between one another in confusion.

"What?" You asked a blush working it's way onto your face.


	9. Press the Button!

Law was awoken by the movement next to him. He slowly opened his eyes and saw you try to leave the bed.

"What are you doing?" He muttered, grabbing your wrist.

"I have to go push the button," you whispered trying to free yourself from his grasp. The man next to you released a sigh, you were attempting to sleep walk.

"It's fine, I already pushed the button for you," He said an amused smirk crawled onto his face as he watched you stop struggling and looked back at him. Your eyes were closed but your brow was furrowed.

"How could you? You don't even know how to!" You said as you rested back on the mattress.

"Dumb woman," Law chuckled.


	10. My Ostrich!

Sanji was up late, doing some finishing touches on the breakfast that he planned for you in the morning. Hearing the door to the kitchen open, he grabbed the wooden spoon ready to fend off Luffy's attempts of stealing meat from the fridge. His eyes widened when he saw you sleepwalking.

"What are you-"

"I have to find my Ostrich!"

"Wha-?"

"I need a _giant_ omelette!" You yelled throwing your hands up in the air. Sanji smirked and rushed to you as you began to fall back down.

"Wow Sanji! How did you know that I was craving omelettes!" You smiled up at the Love Cook, looking away from the huge omelette that was placed in front of you.

"I had a feeling." He said, taking a drag of his cigarette.


	11. WALL-E

Penguin and Shachi were napping out on the deck of the Heart Pirate's sub. Not far from them was Law, who was leaning against a sleeping Bepo. You were wide awake, and currently fishing. Hearing some incoherent muttering from behind you, you twisted your back to get a better look at Shachi, who had shifted next to Penguin. You strained your ears in order to hear the mechanic better.

"Dammit." He muttered, shifting again.

"WALL-E, you robot slut!" He exclaimed. Causing Law, Bepo, and Penguin to abruptly wake up. You tried to contain your laughter but it was growing harder to do, due to everyone giving you a weird look.


	12. Whiskey is for Cats, Right?

You had fallen asleep in the bathtub again. Law sighed as he walked into his bathroom and saw your naked form, sleeping in the now lukewarm water. You face was red and your breathing was becoming labored because of the heat you were exposed to. Law promptly drained the tub and wrapped you up in a fresh towel.

"Whiskey sounds like something you'd give to cat." You said, as Law picked up your sleeping body, "because they have whiskers." You added, Law sighed. You talked in your sleep a lot, and this one was just one of the many odd ones he heard you say.

"I suppose that would make sense." He whispered as he laid you down on his bed.


	13. Enough for All the Ladies

You, Nami, and Robin were sitting in the grass, on the lawn of the Thousand Sunny. You and Nami were sunbathing, Robin was reading a book over history or something...and Zoro wasn't to far away, napping. The only sounds you could hear was the ocean hitting the side of the ship, Robin's pages making a distinct _crinkle_ noise, and Zoro's sometimes loud-ass snoring.

"Hey." Zoro's voice filled the silence, both yourself and Nami lifted your respective sunglasses and glanced at the swordsman and Robin looked up from her book.

"Relax ladies," he said both you and Nami seemed to unconsciously relax at his command. Robin watched amusement in her eyes.

"There's enough for all you~" He purred and resumed snoring. Robin let out a single laugh while you and Nami shared a confused look. Before going into a fit of laughter, waking up the swordsman.


	14. Hidden Message

You were helping Chopper with cleaning and organizing some of his medical supplies. You were to busy with individually dusting some bottles of pills that you didn't notice that the reindeer doctor had fallen asleep. You're only notification that, that had happen was a soft snore you heard from your left. Chopper was leaning on his desk, sleeping soundly. You had to bite back an 'awww' that was threatening to escape, after a few minutes of watching his cute sleeping form you went back to dusting.

"There's a hidden message in Bambi." Chopper's voice broke you out of your thoughts, you placed the bottle down and looked down at the doctor, confusion etched itself onto your face.

"His mom? She's and alcoholic." Chopper sighed and turned his head away from you.

"What the?" You whispered, looking down at the small doctor, you looked up, confusion still on your face. You looked back at the open door, watching to see if anyone would pass by.


	15. Punchies

Everyone was sleeping soundly in the boys' room on the Thousand Sunny. When a loud crash sounded everyone, minus Luffy, bolted from their bunks. They all relaxed when they saw Zoro stand up, groaning.  
"What happened, you shithead?" Sanji growled.

"A bad man just punched me in the arm." Zoro muttered groggily and made his way back into his bunk.

"Zoro! Your arm is broken!" Chopper yelled when the green-haired swordsman entered the kitchen for breakfast.

"What?" He looked down at his arm, now heavily bruised and swollen. "Oh I guess so. I just fell from my bunk and thought I could just sleep it off." He muttered off handily.

"Oh my god Zoro, you dumbass." You muttered earning a glare from the man you just insulted.


End file.
